I love you. If you were to materialize in corporeal female form, we would make extended, languid love; thumbing-up and thumbing-down until we found just the right spot. You always seem to know when I need something fresh and new, or when a great classic will satisfy me. When things get a little stale, you don’t mind bringing someone new into the mix. I like that about you, Pandora. In fact I like everything about you.
Everything… except…
This is hard to say and you have every right to be upset, so here it is: sometimes you send mixed messages. It doesn’t happen often, but you must understand that the cognitive dissonance is like a bolt of lightning turning my cerebrum into hot marbles. Or like being forced to watch Fox News a la A Clockwork Orange.
Describing this errant behavior is too painful. Luckily I have a picture. I only show you this with hope that it will help prevent such occurrences in the future.
It just doesn't make any sense. What am I supposed to think??
Let’s not do this again? Please? I still love you, Pandora, but I don’t know how much of this I can take before I turn somewhere else. That last.fm down the street is a sexy minx…
***Okay, that’s over.***
Go check out my newest Pandora station, titled “Don’t Stop Believing“. I bet you can guess what it sounds like. I think it’s righteous.
Awesome. I’m glad I wasn’t there to witness this.
The hypothetical man/digital-music-service-turned-human nookie? The inexplicable juxtaposition of The Talking Heads and Faith Hill (that is Faith Hill, right??) The late night embryogenesis of an 80s-heavy Pandora station? All of the above?
Details, man. I require them.